Why do we have to endure the pain..

Being in pain and have to pretend that you are not hurt is torturing.. Getting the lost laughter is not easy either. Being in this situation, we start to look for options.. But it seems that the pain is haunting .. need to get out of this..

Why...I can't understand...i guess love can do funny stuff..

Langit begitu gelap
Hujan tak juga reda
Ku harus menyaksikan cintaku
Terenggut tak terselamatkan
Ingin ku ulang hari
Ingin ku perbaiki
Kau sangat ku butuhkan
Beraninya kau pergi dan tak kembali

Dimana letak surga itu
Biar ku gantikan tempat mu dengan ku
Adakah tangga surga itu
Biar ku temukan untuk bersamamu
Ku biarkan senyum ku menari di udara
Biar semua tahu
Kematian tak mengakhiri
Cinta…

Apalah artinya hidup tanpa kekasihku
Percuma ku ada disini

Another day...

I had to let a student down today...seeing her almost burst into tears soften my heart inside...but i have to do this.. Warnings and reminders from friends, colleagues and housemate pushed me into rejecting her.

Every story has two sides... and i'm interested in her side.. but to know her story, i have to break the boundary that has been set in order for me to be in the comfortable side.. and breaking it doesn't seem to be a good option now...

As a teacher, woman and a sister, it hurts me to reject her enthusiasm to learn my subject and to be close to me.. hmm..life can be complicated.. Good luck to her..

Tired....

I've been yawning for the past hours, but i sneak out of my busy schedule...just for the satisfaction of pouring everything out...

Yesterday, i woke up early and survived a few hours of non-stop classes at school and three tuition classes from 3.30 to 9 pm.. had a very late sleep and....today, woke up early to obey the requirements of the timer punch machine in our general office..survived hours of classes and an extra class with another tuition coming at 7..now.....i am sooo extremely tired... here i am, sitting alone in the teacher's room patiently counting every minutes to go bck...trying my very best not to fall into the temptations of this cold rainy evening...and sail away with my dreams...

Huhu.. this tight schedule is killing me..but i managed to find smiles and laughter between them.. i shared jokes with my students in a tired mode.. we had good laugh in class talking about silly stuff between the questions.. and those were my energy booster.. as much as they depend on me for guidance, i depend on them to survive my very day.. Thanks :)

My head is getting heavier..and it's time to go home....

A commitment...

So many things happened...n i promised myself to write it out everytime...but i couldn't find the time, where i cn be alone and focus to my laptop..

Now i'm sneaking out of my busy schedule, just to have the satisfaction of letting it out..

I made a commitment..a 9 years commitment..and eventhough i'm so tight now..never once i regret the decission. He's going to be with me as long as i can protect him..before life takes him away..His name is Jonathan and i call him Nathan. His colour is black..He's a present from me to myself...for all the hardwork i ever did.. He is my persona..and i love him ;).

A little heaven on earth

Is it too much of me asking to have this?? A simple element in life that makes us alive.. A reason to smile and breathe everyday.. A reason to b bold and face the worlds' challenges and turn them into something worthy and meaningful..

We only have one heart, one life...and it is our responsibilty to make it contented... Regardless of who we are... we are worth of the happiness..Is it too much of me to make sure that i have what i dreamt of? i wanna find my home...n hopefully my 'home' can find its way into my heart too.. Amen..


Understanding is still beautiful.. Forgiveness is essential.. Forgetting comes after understanding and forgiveness.. But a lot of us can't reach the third stage..

If it's not 'him'...there must be someone somewhere that was made for us..We've been presented with opportunities...but should we take it? It's up to us..up to a little thing called heart...and a sprinkle of chemistry..for our hearts know if we can give the commitments..and the chemistry is the indicator..coz they come with the package of a having a 'home'.. If we can't commit, let it go..please...

Here i am..wondering what God has stored for me..understanding the beauty of His plan.. knowing that He knows best...

Appreciated Appriciation..

16 May 2010..My first Teacher's Day celebration.. and i really feel celebrated by my students.. teddy bear, mug, lolipops and cards are on my table.. Their grammatical and spelling errors make me smile within..knowing that they at least try to convey beautiful messages..Their words are beautiful enuf..appreciating my every effort..

"Happy Teacher's Day to my lovely and beloved teacher,

I will always remember you lesson to us.

And always remember when we're naughty and you always forgive us for all the mistakes we have done.

Teacher is not only give an education, but also show the way to success.

Theachers are like the diamond we will never throw it because it was very expensive jewellery. Forgive is for the mistakes we have done."

-N-

You are funny and dynamic,

The way you teach us... i never feel bored.

I like English so much better this year..

&

My grammar has improved tremendously.

I hope you still be my BI teacher 4 next year.

Happy Teacher's day.

-V-

Simple words can express a lot.. i'm really touched by their words.. Thanks...